


How 'bout it?

by MMXIII



Series: Brooklyn Boys [7]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: :), Angst, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Captain America: The Winter Soldier Spoilers, Domestic, M/M, Marriage Proposal, More Crying, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Private Displays of Affection, Stucky - Freeform, as in, lots of PDA, lots of feelings, that goes a bit wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-02
Updated: 2014-09-02
Packaged: 2018-02-13 10:48:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2147904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MMXIII/pseuds/MMXIII
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some things are a long time coming.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How 'bout it?

**Author's Note:**

> I had to do this, I'm sorry, I just... I'll be in my trailer...

This is a spiritual successor to: [You gotta know](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2045415) :)

* * *

 

 

‘Hey’ Steve mumbles, limply pressing the heel of his hand into his eye socket. Behind him he can feel Bucky pressing closer, waking without violence for the first time in almost four months.

‘Mmm’

Steve feels Bucky’s fingers idle gently against his forearm as he presses his nose into Steve’s shoulder blades and mumbles into the back of his t-shirt.

‘..time is it?’

 ‘Uh…seven. That’s about eight hours’

Bucky breathes out slowly, arm tightening around Steve’s waist, and makes a vaguely affirmative noise that sounds a bit like _you’re welcome._

Steve smiles broadly and brushes his thumb against the back of Bucky’s hand.

‘We should tell Sam, he’s probably got a chart, you know, one of those phone app things…’

Bucky mumbles something else about a betting pool and presses his mouth against the damp skin at the base of Steve’s neck in a series of sleepy kisses.

 

It could so easily be nineteen-forty-something.

Except of course it isn’t.

 

Steve shifts in Bucky’s hold so he’s lying on his back, smiling at Bucky’s indistinct noise of protest, long dark hair tickling his nose. Bucky subsides onto his front sleepily and replaces his right arm across Steve’s stomach, rubbing slow circles over his hip bone with the side of his thumb. Most of Bucky’s left arm is curled under his pillow, metal hand lying slack in the space between their heads, fingertips just brushing Steve’s ear.

‘Sam coming over later?’

Bucky likes Sam, liked him from the moment he took him aside and said _I know you got your own shit to deal with, but your boy, he needs some lookin’ after_ \- _I heard that’s your thing._

Steve turns his face into the sheets to nestle against the back of Bucky’s hand and feels the plates shift delicately against his cheek.

‘Yup’

Steve likes Sam too. It’s thanks to him that there are two pairs of trainers lined up by the door, that the back of Bucky’s neck is faintly tanned.

After a while, Bucky drops a kiss on Steve’s shoulder and nuzzles his sleeve softly. The fingers of his right hand curl and uncurl against the warm fabric of Steve’s shirt.

 

‘So, cuddling, huh?’

 

Bucky sighs theatrically and noses aggressively into Steve’s armpit

_‘Bucky-!’_

‘Warm…’

Steve swats the back of his head and laughs.

‘You’re welcome’

‘Mmhmm’ Bucky smiles, eyes closed.

Steve skims his hand over the fine downy hair along Bucky’s outstretched arm. He doesn’t think about the scars. He thinks about how it feels to have Bucky’s fingers brushing lightly against his stomach. How Bucky is both different and exactly the same.

 

‘How you feeling?’

 

It’s a question Steve rarely gets to ask in the morning. Bucky’s usually slumped over the toilet, shaking.

Or curled up on the floor, cowering from things that aren’t there.

Or thrashing awake, sweating, _screaming_ in tongues.

But Steve’s still here.

And today feels different, today could be good.

 

‘Alright’

 

‘Yeah?’

 

Bucky reckons he knows Steve pretty well. Well enough to hear the smile in his voice.

 

‘Yeah…’

 

He shifts onto his back alongside Steve and throws his left arm over his head. Steve presses a kiss to the back of Bucky’s hand, his metal bicep, the scarred seam hidden under his t-shirt.

Bucky sighs softly and closes his eyes lazily, turning his face into the cotton of Steve’s shirt.

‘Easy on the hardware, Rogers’

‘ _Steady_ ’ Steve murmurs darkly, grinning against Bucky’s hand. 

Bucky just makes a pleased noise

‘Haven’t had a morning like this in a while, huh?’

Steve runs his thumb over the corner of Bucky’s mouth. It still curls up the same way it always has.

‘Not in a while, no’

Bucky starts smirking and Steve elbows him in the side. They end up tangled together, Bucky lying half on top of Steve, forearms bracketing his head.

‘-hair’s in my eye’ Steve laughs, pulling a face

‘Shut up, it looks great’

‘Who _the hell_ told you that?’ Steve says mildly

‘Some _old_ guy’

‘ _Some old guy!’_ Steve echoes in mock horror

Bucky grins into Steve’s jaw

‘Mhmm’

‘Listen up, _pal_ ’ Steve growls, ‘you’re a damn sight older than I am’

‘Uh huh’

‘That’s right’

‘Hey Steve-’

Bucky’s mouth brushes the outside of Steve’s ear

‘-shut the hell up’

Steve snorts and flips them over, one arm wrapped around Bucky’s back. The urge to struggle flares up briefly as Steve’s fingers circle his left wrist but Bucky pushes it down as far as it’ll go. It’s getting easier to do, which feels a lot like progress.

‘I got you’ Steve says, ‘I got you’

Bucky runs his other hand down Steve’s back

‘I know’

Steve gives him a long look, before pressing a smile against Bucky’s jaw.

’You’re ninety-eight. In case you were wondering’

‘Ninety-fucking-eight’ Bucky whistles, ‘ _Christ_ …better watch my knees, huh?’

Steve sighs into Bucky’s neck before pulling back and smoothing the hair away from Bucky’s forehead.

He doesn’t say anything but Bucky knows what he’s thinking anyway. He can’t believe they’re here either. Back in Brooklyn, of all places.

He looks up at Steve, smiling brightly despite obvious exhaustion. The sunlight’s just catching the ends of his hair turning them filament-white.

 

_And god Bucky knows he’s a mess but-_

‘I got a question for you’, he murmurs quietly

‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah, ‘s a hard one though’

Steve makes a face.

‘You know I don’t know everything right? You should probably text Sam if it’s about music- is it about music? Or tv, or something? Half of what Tony says is unrepeatable… maybe ask Nat? She’ll answer most of the question’s nobody else will-’

Bucky keeps grinning as Steve leans back on his elbows

‘-hell, Buck, you know I don’t know-’

‘ _Steven_ ’, Bucky says, grin widening when Steve huffs.

‘If you start doing that, I’m gonna start calling you J-’

 

‘- _Grant_ …’

 

Bucky feels Steve go completely still, eyes widening as he stares down at Bucky, breathing in slowly.

 

‘ _…Rogers’_ Bucky finishes softly.

 

Steve makes a soft noise in his throat but doesn’t say anything, just keeps on staring at Bucky with this look in his eyes like he’s a million miles away.

Bucky takes a deep breath

‘I spoke to Natalia’ he continues quietly, ‘well, technically, she spoke to me… She said it was ok now. We could do it right here in New York’

Steve blinks slowly before pulling out of Bucky’s hold and sitting back, knees either side of Bucky’s hips.

Bucky’s voice only shakes a little.

 

‘How ‘bout it, Stevie?’

There’s a pause during which Steve doesn’t smile and Bucky lets out a long breath and then Steve’s gone, fumbling his way out of the covers and stumbling into the bathroom. Bucky stares after him for a few seconds before easing himself up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

As he drops his head in his hands he can hear the sound of the city waking up, and the agitated clatter of things being knocked into the sink. The soft broken sound of Steve starting to cry.

It’s the worst thing Bucky’s ever heard.

He stands and makes for the bathroom door. Steve’s sat on the floor against the edge of the bath, white-knuckled and red-eyed.

_He feels like he’s falling._

Steve looks up as Bucky steps towards him. Bucky’s got that awful look on his face, the tentative one that isn’t really his. He was a charismatic little shit from six years old. _But that isn’t right_ , Steve thinks hazily, Bucky was different during the war anyway, and then after- after that they- after…

_Oh god, Bucky_

‘I’m sorry’ Steve gasps,  ‘I- I don’t know why I-’

Bucky rubs his hand over the back of his neck and slips on a brave smile, ‘it’s ok…’ he says softly, ‘I know things are- it’s different and-’

He doesn’t know what else to say so he drops to his knees in front of Steve and reaches out with both hands, sliding them into Steve’s hair to cradle the back of his head.

‘I don’t-…’ Steve breathes, fingers curling in the hem of Bucky’s shirt

Bucky breathes out shakily and closes his eyes. _He doesn’t deserve it anyway._

‘That’s ok... I-I had to ask, you know…’

 

‘ _Bucky_ ’

 

He starts a little as Steve kisses him hard on the mouth.

‘Shut up’ he murmurs, _shut up, shut up_

Suddenly Steve’s holding Bucky’s head in his hands, stroking the back of his neck like he’s been doing through Bucky’s terrors.

‘… it’s…it’s been such a long time… I didn’t think- I didn’t think you still… _god. Bucky I-…_ I thought I was gonna be alone and then- and you…’

Steve kisses the side of Bucky’s face and breathes wetly into his hair. His hands are shaking.

 

‘Hey’, Bucky feels his fingers trembling against Steve’s neck, ‘I’m your guy, Steve’

‘You’re my guy’, Steve echoes, closing his eyes and resting his head against Bucky’s, just breathing slow and steady like they used to when Steve was having an attack.

 

Like they do now when Bucky doesn’t know where he is.

And when Steve can’t quite separate _then_ and _now_.

 

‘Yeah I’m your guy’ Bucky says, pushing his fingers into Steve’s hair, ‘wasn’t I always your guy, Steve? Sure as hell nobody else’s gonna have what’s left of me’

Steve makes a gentle noise in his throat and wipes the back of his hand over his eyes. He looks up and sees Bucky at eight, at thirteen, seventeen, twenty-three. He can feel the blood thrumming in his fingers where they rest against the nape of Bucky’s neck.

 

‘I love you’ Bucky says, bold as anything, ‘you gotta know’

 

Steve nods faintly against Bucky’s open palm.

‘ _God_ , I missed you. Every day I-’

‘I know’

He smoothes his thumb along Steve’s jaw, lets him see that he’s afraid.

‘I’m even on my knees’

‘Yeah, getta loada this, huh…’

Steve grins and suddenly they’re both laughing. Bucky feels the tension bleed away as he rearranges himself to lean back against the bath next to Steve. He turns his head to catch Steve’s face in profile, the faint flush creeping up his neck. It occurs to him he’s probably the only person ever to get this close to Captain America’s stubble.

 ‘So, how ‘bout it, Stevie?’

Steve tips his head back and breathes out.

‘I dnno-’

‘Don’t you dare’

And then Steve’s leaning in and kissing the corner of Bucky’s mouth.

‘Yes’ he says, feeling Bucky smile against him.

 

‘Yeah?’ Bucky murmurs, feeling more than a little dazed.

 ‘ _Bucky, you idiot’,_ Steve says, shining so damn bright Bucky feels like he’s staring straight at the fucking sun,

 

 

‘ _I was always your fella’_

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
